we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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