There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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