Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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