never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
