o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
