Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
