What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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