Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
