I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
