Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
