Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
