the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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