we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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