No stitches, just platelets and will power
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She needs sedatives and a leash
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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