i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
