Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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