This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
