How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize