remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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