I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
