he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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