I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
