You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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