he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
