I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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