I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
