She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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