every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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