the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
