Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize