My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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