please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize