you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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