I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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