Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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