You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just cropdusted the office
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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