I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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