we have officially lost it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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