i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
