If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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