So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
