Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
