So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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