at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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