Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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