I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
