I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
two words: eviction party
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
