We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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