I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
