Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
