Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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