If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I just put wine in my tea
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
