So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this just has baby written all over it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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