Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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