would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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