i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize