i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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