Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You can't motorboat a personality
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
